It was Meant to BE

I payed a visit to my alma mater last August 10,2012 at the Psychology Department. I came to send my letter of invitation for the World Humanitarian Day stating our intention to have a School visit and conduct a  Symposium. There, I met a long lost friend which I haven't seen for more than 2 years now!

I call him Hiroshi which is our human model for our
 Physiological Psychology and Anatomy. A long lost friend!

 We usually play with him removing his organs and especially the brain. Disassembling his body parts with an evil HAHAHA Laugh! :) Do I look like very mean to him? But, it was very educational to know where the liver when you remove the intestines and the heart when you remove the ribs.

Jean Taypa  who's my classmate from high school until college.

Jean helped me to coordinate the symposium to the Department because she's already one of the teaching staff. And since its almost time for lunch, Jean and I went to Pop Rock. It was my first time to be in the bistro and they were surprised because they usually hang out here during our college days. I was so busy and my favorite bonding time with them happens when we go Overnight on the spring pool. And of course, they couldn't beat me splashing water on their faces!

Me and Kate Pijo ( my basta't kasama kita partner)

And so, we have to eat and our classmate Kate which is currently the Guidance Office Head of Saint Peter's College came to dine with us. Actually, I came to dine with Jean and Kate since they planned to eat lunch together. I also asked Kate on how and to whom should I coordinate if we invite them for  a School Symposium for WHD.

I do miss my classmates in college. They were there for me during my darkest moments and they always keep on pulling me back on track. They never give up reminding me about things to do -  THEY NEVER GAVE UP ON ME. :) 

I guess people in our lives doesn't just randomly come or go. I believe that we all crossed paths for interdependence. Without them, I couldn't have done the task assigned to me. 

So maybe the next time I wonder why this person came into my life, 

 I might as well answer -  It was meant to be.

Away from HOME

I wrote this one  page essay during my first year in college , particularly last June 27, 2006 . I studied Eight (8) hours away from our hometown Bayugan,  Agusan del Sur. It was a story of me leaving home and being separated for a long time with my loved ones.

Away from Home

My mother hugged me before I left home. It was the sweetest and the warmest she had left in my memory.

As I saw her face, she was not crying nor was smiling at me – was just an empty space; an empty space, showed no feelings at all. She left me before  I left home, maybe, she didn’t want to show me those tears and worries about what is going to happen in my life as I continue schooling for college.

I walked through the door and the memories with my family in the place where I call home struck me and brought me tears. Tears which flowed from my eyes like a never ending stream of loneliness and miseries.

Away from home, that is happening to me right now. I’m now far away from home , my family and all those people whom I love. I promised myself that, that was my last cry and I will shed my tears until I will be back home.

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My GCC Story

"He is gifted with a facilitating skill in class." -  a comment made by my cooperating teacher during my practice teaching in Values Education.

I was a bit flattered by the remarks Maam Bontia written on my suggestion notebook. A bit stunned by such, I was reaffirmed that my four years in college taking up Psychology made me a better person. But, there was a greater emotion that I felt inside that made my heart burn. It's my Guidance and Counseling Center Family who made that very significant impact in my life.

Looking back, it was August 12-13, 2006 and it seems like it was just yesterday when I meet those very inspiring and loving batchmates. My cohorts were actually very excellent students during their high school and It was a bit overwhelming when I discovered that they were called by their respective Guidance Counselors - I was the only trainee who applied to be an SPF. I am indeed a DREAMER.

Being an SPF won't be complete without joining College Life Symposiums, Drug Symposiums Hearts Forum and Senior's Week Activities. You will never forget your first time to do impromptu  speeches, icebreakers, action songs, leading a prayer or the national anthem and sometimes your the immediate Masters of Ceremony. It taught me to be flexible and be more confident. And after these activities, you will surely experience a food treat at the office. Group Dynamics Activities, Boarding House Visits, Enrollment Student Assistance and bonding moments at the office fueled my passion to serve.

Do you know how to make an activity permit? It will always be part of the fun. You  should join the suki club of the Department of Student Affairs! OVCAA, PPD, Janitorial Services,and  the Security Office are the places you will discover. You should mark your calendars for the Planning activities , Acquaintance Parties, Christmas Parties and Birthday Parties! And when you finally finish college, you shouldn't miss the Alay sa Graduates activity.

Now, it has been been five years ago since I officially joined the family. Without all the GCC family's constructive criticisms, the encouragements and support, my life won't be complete.

Being an SPF is a tough journey. There might be times when you feel like giving up because of too much academic pressure but one thing you all should know -  "The office floor was not yet covered w/ tiles, the Guidance Counselor's didn't have yet their own office cubicles, the glass door was still made of wood. In short, there has been lots of changes that had occurred in the office over the years but one thing remains constant." - The GCC Family will always be there to welcome you with arms wide open.

The Weekend of August 27-28, 2011 is a mark for the Learning Assistant Volunteers and Student Peer Facilitators. Its a start of a new chapter in your life but one thing is true - "You will have your own story serving as LAV/SPF". As for me, this is my GCC Story.

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3 Crazy Reasons Why I Blog

If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.~Rollo May


180 Degress is like the flight of the dawn to the twilight. Life has many hidden reasons that are unexplored. We get hurt, we dream, we feel joy and sorrow , but life wont be so sweet unless we have not tasted the bitterness. Our greatest happiness comes from our greatest sadness. Life may give us lemons and we ought to make lemonades. But don’t forget that the seeds of the lemons will make a fortune if you invest on them.

Blogging is a way to express myself and my ideas freely without hesitation and fear. It is my way of saying “I can be what I wanna be”. As a graduate of BS Psychology, I am looking forward in getting to explore who am I and what I really want. I want to start this blog for some major reasons:


1. I want to be a WRITER. I WANT TO IMPROVE my WRITING SKILLS. Honestly, I am not really good at these stuffs. I dream of becoming a writer someday – a novelist. Having a lot of ideas popping out of your mind is such a great gift but moreover, the ability to put all these thoughts into a one great CREATIVE composition is the greatest challenge of all. Inspiring people is one of my passion and though the stories that you will read in this blog , may you be uplifted and get some wonderful insights in life. Blogging is my stage and the readers are my critiques.


2. I WANT to be a Successful Businessman. In the new age, having the skill and knowledge about blogging is of great use especially for research and in determining opinions of your consumers. I want to be a voice and I want to be the ears as well. Through blogging, I can get to know people who have world changing ideas in creating a better world of enterprise.


3. I want to be a Psychologist. Basically, I do blog to gain self awareness and find inspiration as well. To find recreation time and fun is an unceasing reward of blogging. I can maximize my research tool and publish my future studies. Being able to reach to other Psychologist bloggers and getting more connections


. As you read my posts, just be feel free to speak and be who you are. Read the stories. Be inspired by my thoughts and express what’s in your heart. These 3 crazy reasons of for me is like 3 impossible dreams, but, I do believe that when you dream -- reach for the skies, reach for the stars or, maybe reach for an another planet like earth? (haha)


-MoonSonic


The Blogger

Roller Coaster Ride

Life is a roller coaster. It goes up and down. It has twists and turns. It has curves and straights. It ends where it started.

At every peak you see through the beauty of what is below and at the bottom, we realize that there is only direction to be and that is to move upwards. At the twists, we hold on and tighten our grips so as not to fall.

I was like dreaming that yesterday was over but no matter what I do, everything is haunting me. It will always be a part of me and who I am. I cannot deny my mistakes and failures. The regrets keep chasing me like a tail at my back. I’m too afraid to fail and too afraid to lose when from the beginning I knew the road would lead me to the losers’ grounds. 

I don’t know where to go from this misery. I can’t understand why I am here. I don’t know what should happen. I don’t know my dreams or what to hope to. I don’t know myself. I don’t know who am I? I cant understand what should I think. Everything seems to be empty and white.

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Happy Birthday to Me

Yes! Dear Families, Friends, Fanatics and Foes! I am 22 years old this May 07, 2011 and indeed It’s a time to again remember the goodness of the Lord for the past years and to thank Him for His awe-strucking love not just for me but for everything in the World that He has created. Thank you for greeting me and for the sincere prayers and blessings you all wished for me.

First of all, thank you for seeing me as a very special person (because you won’t bother reading this if you really don’t care, right?) in your life. I’m grateful to have met you and I know God has set our paths to cross for a purpose and that is to know Him deeper each day. But I want to honor few people today who really made a difference in me and that is YOU! Yes you did! (Don’t be shy!) Why? I’d like you to answer that question too? How did you made Francis become a better person? Exactly! That’s my point dude! =D Let me state a theory on how you made me the way I am today.

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143-143

Its my first time to be far away from home in this semestral vacation. It is my first time to be away from my family for All Saints and All Souls Day. And for the fact, it is my first time to be away from my Brother Leo’s birthday.  I am feeling so alone though i am not lonely. I wanted to go out of our apartment but i have no one to accompany me and I still have a lot of projects to do anyway.

I wonder if things would be different if I went home. I am totally homesick. LOL. I realized few things because of this event. Going home is like our regular prayer time. - our time with God. He is totally missing us and waits for us to speak unto Him.  He is waiting for me to listen to Him and share my experiences with Him. And I failed to go home because I have two hang-ups with my studies. I have two incomplete grades  - one for our thesis Proposal and 2 comes from our school Psychology.  If I have not failed to comply our requirements I would be spending a lot of quality time with my family. I would have shared my experiences to them. Because of my irresponsibility and laziness.

Its like in us. When we pray to God , we realize that we are not ready and humble enough to come in His presence. When we continue to sin and live a double edge life, we are like being pulled by these hang ups for us to totally enjoy our company with Him. We cannot fully enjoy His blessings everyday if We continue living a sinful life.
We are all Called to purity and be always ready. I was not ready to go because I failed to do my best and live to what God expects out of me. I know every time I fail to come unto You, You are totally missing me and gone out crazy craving for me to come and Talk to You. You always wanted me to hear your soft I LOVE you. Your sweet I MISS YOU! Forgive us Lord for our infidelity towards you. Regardless of what the world labels it as big or small - sin is sin unto You and it doesn’t matter if it is a big one or a small one.

My Prayer:

Lord teach us to be humble always in your Presence knowing that You are God and I am not. You are all powerful and I am weak. You are Holy and Righteous and I should be Holy and Righteous. You are Perfect and I should strive for Perfection doing things excellently for Your Name. Help me in my struggle. In Jesus Name. Amen.

P.S. 143-143. God says : I miss you and I love you.

Originally Posted Last:

November 1, 2009 @ 9:50 pm

My God:My Life CFC-YFC RYC 2009

My God, My Life talk 2 creatives

I have felt so much pain in my life about friendship and loving others. Maybe to others, its just an inch of a burden but for me it matters most. I have been broken many times because of treasuring my friends. I consider everyone of them greater than Gold. I love them and I genuinely care for them. Ever since I was young, I experienced pains and had dropped a lot of tears for them, I prayed hard for them and done sacrifices for them. I died myself for them.

Last RYC SHOUT OUT (October 23-25) has been another stop over for me as an avenue for healing. I came to realize that I have been reserving a lot for myself. I was afraid to trust because I am afraid to be hurt. I was afraid to love, because I am afraid to be rejected. I am afraid to give myself, because I might be broken. I am scared of running life. I am scared of loving. I am scared to try because I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to believe because I might be disappointed by the people around me. I am afraid to trust them because they might fail and wound me.

As I came to the conference, I came be satisfied with my thirst to serve God. It was awesome to be part of the General Service team. I was amazed when me, Kent and Rom were in the transportation team. I felt friendship all over again. We were with jason from Zamboanga Norte and we have a real fun talk and tried to get to know each other. It has been a long time since I experienced having nasty jokes and expressing myself.  I treated them with ice cream (except for Jason because he went ahead to practice for the dance for the GIG) and was happy to laugh with the two of them. We waited for the arrival of the delegates and to put Car Pass for their vehicles. Rom bought some bread for us and we really had some funny jokes together. We met one tito who was incharge of the transportation and had a lot of conversation together.

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Answered Before I asked

It was a fine day. I forgot to prepare for our report in the morning for our Ethics of The Profession. I was so disappointed of how I was able to not take responsibility over it. Not to mention it was given to me a month ago. I have nothing to do anyway, I dont want to skip classes. I had to admit to our professor that I was not prepared to report in the class.

Honestly, at that point, I was so concerned about our enrichment activity in SPF the afternoon at 1pm. It was a working holiday. As I rushed to school unprepared, I continued to prayed hard asking Him the purpose of why I was not reminded of my report.

The night before, I was reminded by our Jaime Pagatpat Jr. about the booking for the venue and also, Jeffrey Lozada asked me if I had already prepared the Solicitation letter. I left my phone unattended downstairs and I had read the message around 12 midnight before I slept.

Waking up without any money at hand was a sort of disaster. I have lots of persons to contact and especially the events for the upcoming camp on August 8-9. Astoundingly, without asking,God loaded my phone through my mother. I did not asked her to send me a load. At around 7-8 am, she loaded my phone and it was so amazing..

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Out of Control

One of the most hating part that I had experience in my life is losing control of myself. i don’t wanna be uncertain of the things around me and inside me. I have one great deal of hang ups that keeps me down. It’s hard for me to be attached to someone - emotionally. I tried to figure out why such reactions happen when I get to intimacy with someone. I don’t want others to know me deeper. Somehow, whenever someone reaches a boundary of my inner self - I’ll try to withraw and keep a distance to that person. I don’t want to be manipulated by anyone. There are really thoughts that keeps my mind wonder “why” I came to be this way. i thought of it that maybe because of my previous relationships - and I am pertaining to friendships and intimate bonds. Those were not really broken ones but to put a word to describe it would be a “CUT-OUT” relationships which means that they were not nurtured and were not continued at all. I amit because our relationship ended because of some circumstances aside from conflicts but the thought in me was - I was left behind. Closeness was really something I wanted to have because it follows that the person will be able to understand you and help you grow as a person, would be willing to correct and would laugh and cry with you. Well, i am not actually seeking for these benefits alone but I long to care for someone whom I could call a bestfriend and moreover is the expression that he calls me his too - a mutual friendship in trust. I am not looking for an exclusive friendship but I wanted to experience something different where I couldn’t just hear but taste the connection between our lives. I never experienced a lasting “group” where I was involve with. I am referring to a barkada. To have outings and the same habits and interest is one of my dreams that only be sensed by a closure of my eyelids. I have actually lots of fears and doubts about myself.

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Essence of its Meaning: Life as It is

When I was still a child I thought of asking everyone around me “What is the meaning of life?” or sometimes “What gives life a meaning?”. But, never thought that it would be so mysterious and everyone has his own meaning based on their experiences and on what they have.

A friend told me that life is both a test and a challenge it is because there are lots of trials and sufferings and that everyday we are competing with other people to survive. I said to myself, “that might be the answer.” But, I never ended up searching for answers that would make me be satisfied.

I would recall my mother saying, “Life for me is my family” and that life without us means death to my mother. Love really covered me when II heard her speak those very soft words having fear that can be noticed in the tune of her voice coming out of her mouth.

My wandering never ended in that avenue when I asked our teacher about. “What is the meaning of Life?” and she replied, “Life means simply having fun.” And then she added, “Enjoy life to the fullest for all of us will end up with death.” The last word she spoke with her tongue echoed in my mind – “Death!”. All of us will end up dying and no one could ever escape that.

People around me answered differently or maybe those were just parts of the real answer.

As I sail to find its answer, I never ended up as a failure. I never thought that the answer will just come to me and struck me and there’s no need to search for it because it was all planned - that day when the enlightenment had all happened. When did it happen? How did I know?

It was august 11, 2002 when I joined a camp and I met someone that changed my life and up to now the change continues. That day put a great mark in my life and in my heart and I will treasure it forever.

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Human Confusion 143

Everyone wants to feel that they are special. People desire for uniqueness that is why if someone belongs to a group, they look for something that separates them from each other. They keep building walls after walls and make labels after labels. We wonder why society has become more and more complicated from generation to generation because it must have been caused by our simple craving to be satisfied by fame, attention and too much of narcissism when all we truly need is to LOVE and  be LOVED.

When you keep looking outside and be motivated by the praises around, we are exchanging ourselves’ value to rotten tomatoes. It’s like trading all the groceries you just bought from the supermarket to a cat’s poop. Let’s open our eyes; your worth is even more that those groceries – it’s immeasurable and truly irreplaceable. You see, as civilization progresses, we find more and more excuses such as fathers has to do work overtime or why mothers must be there at the office. We have made lives turn from fast to superfast and then everything we do turns out to be all accelerated that we forget to live by the moment but to keep looking forward to what is about to happen. Our minds and hearts were made to be people of tomorrow, no longer people of today. Enjoyment becomes superficial because we have allowed world to dictate us who we should be and why we should do things accordingly that we miss our real essence.

24/7 Moon

I am looking at the moon above me and there is a voice that calls my soul. A realization, a lesson, a parable and enlightenment came into my very weary mind.I always wanted to be a Full Time Worker since I was third year high school. I even told my mother that I would like to quit schooling and become a missionary. She said “you must study first and finish schooling.”. I insisted though and keep thinking about it. Until few weeks later, I knew that I had to take up a degree before I’d be accepted in as one. So, I did my best to finish my studies. I longed to trail blaze. I longed to go some place where the Lord tells me to go - He guiding me every step of the way.

During forth year high school, I though of taking up BS Psychology to be better equipped with the missionary’s work. I wanted to study at UP though but unfortunately I took the entrance exam with an empty stomach and that made me  read every questions more than thrice before comprehending it. So, then, I decided to study in MSU-IIT in Iligan City.

After graduation, I felt an urge to become a priest, but, I want to be a Full Time Worker – not Priesthood. Dissonance came into me bringing me chaos that had stolen the peace I have – my dream. I was torn whether to enter a seminary school or fulfill what I want. What do I want to offer for the Lord? Sleepless nights, loud cries, disappointments, uneasiness – I don’t know what to choose. It seems that God is calling me for Priesthood. Later, I was mystified on how He spoke to me. He said “Why are you still here. I said Go ____ a mission.”. After speaking that to me, peace came into my being.To make the story short, I am now a forth year BS Psychology student of MSU-IIT.

Those events occurred around four years ago and here I am in another crossroad looking for answers to where I should be going. Where do you want me to go, Lord? Until now, my struggles are heavy but with Him, I feel comforted. I am so busy doing our thesis and finishing our hour-requirements for our On the Job Training. I want to find peace. I am drawing closer to the point of choosing my path. I know, He is with me and there is nothing to worry. J He SUSTAINS.

As I search my heart, Full Time Work is invisible. I could see a deep desire to take on a Masters Degree on Psychology and start working. I don’t want to make a choice that will eventually confuse my heart. I just pray that many are praying for more harvesters. If I go for FTW, I pray that my heart would yearn for it.But there has been a change in me.

As I continue to gaze on the moon, I am astounded. I am marveled with its beauty. I am filled with Joy and happiness that never stops flowing. It brings about tears not of sadness or pain but a desire to be like the MOON. There are times that I failed to reflect God in my life story. I desire to fulfill the purpose He has for me. I pray that wherever I may Go. I will be like the moon. Be like the moon that depends on Him. Be like the moon that shines for Him. Be like the moon that serves and adores Him.

As I close my eyes. There will always be a mystery I will always long to unfold in my life. Why things happen like this or how does it goes? But, repeatedly – it all GOES BACK TO HIM. =) for His glory. Be like the moon..to be like the moon..sssssighhhh..

Originally Posted Last:

January 17, 2010 @ 8:28 am